Everyone hates the thought of getting old, and the older you get the more you hate it. You know it’s time to have the conversation about having someone come in and provide home care to your aging loved one. When is the best time to bring it up? Is there ever a good time to bring it up? How do you even start the conversation? Well, don’t worry, in this blog we are going to give you some easy ways to have that overdue conversation with your loved one.
Before You Need the Care
You know that at some point your loved one is going to need additional care. If you know that they might not be the most accepting of the idea, it’s great to get a head start to introduce the idea to see where their feelings lie about senior home care. You can bring it up in passing by using a “friend” as an example of how they use home care, and talk about all the wonderful services that they are providing and how it’s made their life a lot easier. This will give you a better understanding how they feel before they fully require the additional care.
Don’t Be the Parent
Everyone dislikes being told what to do, this is the same for parents. They don’t want to feel like they can’t make their own decisions anymore and to be treated like a child. It is important to remember to speak to each other as equals and to address their feelings and concerns. By being open and honest with each other, you demonstrate wanting the best for each other.
We Need to Talk
Don’t have the “We need to talk” conversation, it can come across in a negative and demanding way. Try to have the conversation at a place your loved one likes, or enjoys spending time. They will feel more comfortable and at ease. Also, bring it up in a positive way and not as an order towards them. If your loved one feels like home care is being forced on them, they will be unwilling to welcome the idea.
Give Examples
Your loved one may say they don’t require the extra help and can do it all on their own. So be sure to have some examples ready, as to how senior home care can help. When presenting your examples make sure you do this in a positive manner. Avoid things like “You’ve fallen in the shower you need help”. Try saying “I am worried that you will hurt yourself by slipping in the shower”. This way it shows that you are concerned about their wellbeing and do not come across as demanding.
How Senior Home Care Really Works
Since home care is a new experience for both of you it’s important to explain how it works. A home care worker is there to help assist with the things your loved one needs and not babysit them. You can explain to them that a senior home care worker is kind of like a personal assistant. They can help with light housekeeping, meal preparation, or take them to appointments. They will not steal their independence, they will only help where help is needed.
Time Well Spent
A lot of times people think that home care workers are in the home every day, week after week. While some people do require this type of care, most people only require help a few hours a week. When introducing the idea of home care, be sure to let your loved one know that the helper will only be there for a limited amount of time each week. Once they have an understanding that this is only a few hours to complete tasks, they will be more open to the idea.
Ask Your Friends
Do your parents have a lot of friends they see often? If so, you can ask the friends or the family if they have been getting additional help in the home. If they have, this can be a great conversation starter. You can even ask if the friends would be willing to share their experiences with your loved one. Once they see that their friends have been using home health, they will be more willing to use the home care services.
Now that you heard our examples on how to discuss home care, you can fully prepare yourself to have a positive loving conversation with your loved one. Remember that it is never too early or too late to start the conversation about getting additional help. At the end of the day, you want what is best for your loved one and they understand and appreciate it, even when they don’t show it.
